I get bored with regular job descriptions that have no flavor and I was watching something Sci-Fi today, so get your tastebuds ready. This is not your normal job description, but you will find all the details of this job within this text. Hang with me as we go on an adventure.
The internet with is not quite Skynet yet. It’s getting there, you know? Our Mill Valley, CA client realizes that there’s a hungry monster lingering behind the curtains who gobbles up everything in sight. The solution to preventing Skynet is to distribute all this data as widely as possible. Don’t let a single system be the sole owner of all the data, right?! The evolution of highly distributed data (or something like it) could then allow more than one self-aware system to survive which could prevent the Skynet from taking over! Silly? Maybe- but keep reading…it will all make sense soon.
This underlying system is any number of sites that you may know, most of which are considered “Social Media” but are typically used for broadcasting to friends, family, and non-personal connections for which you keep around just to boost your follower count. If there’s one thing that I know, it’s that my friends are on different systems. Sometimes I share something in one place that I wish was in another. Also, I have stored something in one place that I wish I could back up to another. Come on, we all remember how many times Twitter has gone down and even Facebook has had a hiccup or two (despite Zuck’s uncanny ability to get you to look the other way).
Our client is working on this problem, they actually launch the solution this quarter and they already have over 7000 users who are absolutely loving what they’re working on. No lie.
The company is processing massive amounts of data, tagging that data, allowing users to add information, and then providing methods for sharing this data all in a clean and easy to use interface. It’s certainly a bit more complicated than that- but this is a start…
This is where you, mighty knight of the Java table, come in. Not to slay some monster, unless you consider communicating over disparate APIs to be a monster! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to help make life easier for your users and better for the internet as a whole. This requires specific skills like Lucene, the text searching and indexing tool will help to keep this data organized and searchable. Jersey, the RESTful web service framework, will help to make this data accessible. Image processing experience will be rewarded with first-in-line privileges for any candidates. Lastly, field experience with shipping code will make all the difference because it shows you are a proven warrior.
It is my job to find you and tell you about this opportunity, and bring you in to meet our client so they can convince you that their battles are worth fighting and that their company culture is better than any you’ve seen in recent years.
If you liked my silly job description and think that you’d be a good fit for a company who was willing to let me write their job descriptions, then send an email to Patty at technicalintegrity dot com and tell us what you know, how you know it, and why you feel that you can show no fear in the face of a team of hungry hippopotami.
Also, just for fun, you should share a link to your favorite web API software with us. I used a be a coder and now that I’m recruiting I’m a bit out of the loop and miss out on so much cool stuff, so I rely on awesome people to share awesome stuff with me.
You can find out more about Technical Integrity on our site and you can check out our other silly job descriptions. We like to give back to our community and do things little different in the recruiting space. If you like what we’re throwing down, hit us up and tell us! Maybe the boss will give me a raise for writing awesome job descriptions…hem…”doing my job”. It’s not likely, but I dare to dream!
— Matt, Recruiter and silliness creator, Technical Integrity
P.S. Have you hear how much I like pizza rolls? Look for our other job descriptions. I also like Pringles and Cheese Doodles!